Happy new year !

As we rang in the new year, I couldn’t help but think about the phrase "Happy New Year." It's a tradition we all follow, yet when you really stop to think about it, it’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Happy New Year. How can we wish someone a “happy” year when we have absolutely no idea what the next 365 days will bring? Sure, we can hope for smooth sailing, but in reality, we’re all just one phone call away from a life-changing event. It’s funny because we wish for happiness like it’s this constant, unchanging state, but life is so much more than that. Life is messy, unpredictable, and full of both joy and sorrow. What if, instead of wishing for a happy year, we embraced a real year—a year of growth, change, and maybe even a little chaos?

Think about it. It’s so easy to look back on your past and think, If I had done this differently, I’d be further along. I would have a career I love, a relationship that actually works, more friends who are there when I need them, and an Instagram feed full of #goodvibesonly memories. But here’s the truth: you can’t change the past. It’s done. That time you skipped the gym for Netflix? Can’t undo it. That friend you let drift away? Can't rewind and text them "Hey, let's catch up." Obsessing over the "what ifs" gets you absolutely nowhere. I mean, you can cry about it while eating an entire pizza (which, by the way, is a perfectly valid emotional coping strategy), but it doesn’t solve anything. So, instead of getting stuck in the loop of “I should have done this,” let’s flip the script and ask ourselves, What can I do right now?

Let’s be honest—how many of us spend our time daydreaming about the “ideal” version of our life? We see people on social media who seem to have everything figured out: perfect relationships, dream jobs, endless vacations. Meanwhile, we’re sitting in our sweatpants, wondering why we don’t have our act together. It’s tempting to think, If I could just rebrand myself—become that perfect version of me—then maybe everything would fall into place. So we try to change everything: our hairstyle, our wardrobe, our career path, and even our personalities.

But here’s the catch: What if the life we’re trying to rebrand is the one we already have? If you only live once (YOLO, right?), then why would you want to spend that one life pretending to be someone you’re not? In an attempt to please others, we often morph into versions of ourselves that aren’t true to who we are. This idea that changing ourselves will make life easier, smoother, and more successful is an illusion. In reality, it’s the genuine relationships, the moments of vulnerability, and the times when we accept our flaws that lead to true fulfillment. If you don’t like yourself now, changing everything about yourself won’t change the fact that deep down, you still need to find peace with who you are.

Take the example of "rebranding" in the new year. Every January 1st, we see people announce, “New year, new me!” But let’s be real. By February, they're back to their old selves, with a gym membership they’ve never used and a diet plan they’ve long forgotten. If changing who we are could really solve our problems, then why do we keep feeling the same way? Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t in changing the outside—it’s in embracing the inside. As the philosopher Socrates famously said, “Know thyself.” If we’re constantly running away from who we are, how can we ever expect to build meaningful, authentic relationships or live a life that feels true?

Another thing I’ve realized is that our brains love solving problems. We find comfort in having clear answers, and when things don’t make sense, it freaks us out. I’m not the only one who’s ever found myself in a self-loathing phase, right? When I’m stuck in that headspace, it’s almost as if I’m subconsciously blocking good things from happening to me. If something positive comes my way, my brain doesn’t know how to process it. Wait, this doesn’t add up, my brain says. If I don’t like myself, why should good things happen to me? It’s a messed-up thought loop. We think we don’t deserve good things, because, logically, good things shouldn’t happen to “bad” people, right? But this is the trap. Our minds are wired to reject what feels unfair, even when it’s exactly what we need.

This year, instead of focusing on forced happiness or trying to fit into some mold of who we think we should be, let’s focus on the real work: embracing who we are, with all our flaws, uncertainties, and imperfections. Life isn’t about striving for constant happiness or rebranding ourselves into someone we think others will accept. It’s about showing up as ourselves—authentically, unapologetically, and with an open heart. In the words of the writer Rainer Maria Rilke, “Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.” So let’s stop running from ourselves. Let’s embrace the messiness of life, the challenges it brings, and the beauty that comes from simply being real.